A Story from The Tube ...

[RobbieM]

• (Good to see that this is still running whilst I've been on a week's holiday!)

Seeing a particularly attractive nun, Colin remarked to Wes, "Look at that MAID! A VALEntine's Day dream!"

[Starkey7]

Colin decided to get WES TO FERRY her back to his place later.

[Soup Dragon]

Stan was worried that dabbling with other nuns could blow their cover, and he was right to be. The Mother Superior, Sister Mary Magdelena of ALL SAINTS, was very suspicious of the newcomers. She was A STOCKy lady who had decided to become a nun when her bROTHER HIT HEr during an argument, after which she developed a hatred of all men.

[RobbieM]

They thought they could get away with it if they disguised themselves as the gardeners. However, they couldn't decide whether to use a flyMO OR PARK a proper mower nearby.

[Soup Dragon]

One evening, after a hot day of gardening, the three fake gardeners decided to invite Sister Mary out for a drink down the local. It was a cunning plan to get on her good side. They arrived at The KING GEORGE, Very thirsty and Wes ordered the drinks; A Cherry Panda POP, LARge tonic with LIME, HOUSE white wine and a glass of CUTTY SARK whisky.

[RobbieM]

As it happens, Sister Mary had a few too many. (Not surprising, considering the amount of drinks ordered). Wes couldn't believe how inebriated she was when she stood up. He'd not seen a lady that drunk since he'd seen the QUEEN SWAYing from side to side, several years previously...

[krollo]

She wobbled home, UP MINSTER BRIDGE, then met 19 chickens who she tried to take home but accidentally herded into a river.

[Going Underground]

The chickens being unable to swim drowned bringing an abrupt HATCH END

[RobbieM]

She continued home anyway, taking a short cut through the FAIR, LOPping 5 minutes off the journey time.

[Urzzz1871]

This was a bad move, as a mugger jumped out from behind the dodgems and proceeded to PINN 'ER on the floor and steal her handbag.

[RobbieM]

(The mugger's name was cHARLES DENton, by the way...)

[tractakid]

(The mugger's name was cHARLES DENTon, by the way...)

Not sure I have heard of 'Harlsdent'?! lol

[RobbieM]

• Not sure I have heard of 'Harlsdent'?! lol

  Point taken - quote corrected!

[tractakid]

Now, Mr Charles was not interested in the contents of the handbag. He instead wanted the handbag itself aS STOCK for his fashion accesory shop...

[RobbieM]

This Mr Denton (his real name ) was in a choir, the singers of which all liked selling fashion accessories when they weren't singing. The women of the chorus sell handbags with nice curves; the men of the choRUS SELL SQUARE ones...