Well, that was horrible.
Lancaster Gate comes out and I use my neo-circular route, and, seeing as I was the last classified finisher, I have no shame in sharing it. As per the general opinion, double back to Marble Arch, but I chose to change at Notting Hill Gate. Why? Because I was going northbound via a HSK double back to Paddington. Three minutes for a southbound at Notting Hill Gate was meh, and two for a return trip from HSK was, again, meh.
Ran Paddington to Paddington and got a sexy change. Unfortunately the luck soon evaporated; ran Edgware Road to Edgware Road where the Bakerloo was pulling out on me - and three minutes for another one. Got out at Regent's Park and ran to Great Portland Street. In normal circumstances, I would have done something different, but owing to the strict BOZO rulings (you MUST do Bond Street by Jubilee). But no, had enough time, as it happens, to stock up on supplies to get a train to Baker Street. On to the Jubilee where a large group of Japanese tourists were blocking the escalators whilst the Southbound Jubilee was there with its doors open... come on, come on... run, run, run, run... in! And we're not leaving. Nope. Owing to the Kilburn problems, a train had been detrained at Green Park - so we're having a ripple effect, waiting, waiting, waiting...
Eventually we get to Green Park and owing to a piece of extraordinary bad luck, I had managed to run into a group of people spilling out from the Northbound platform. So, yes, you guessed it, I end up stuck behind them at approximately one mile per hour, unable to overtake, and when we get to the Piccadilly platforms, it's three minutes for a train to Cockfosters.
At Piccadilly Circus, I have to go around the long way (I didn't even bother to check, it was closed last time though), and I just miss a Bakerloo train. Drat. Sail down to Elephant & Castle, passing through Waterloo, where I managed to get the whole carriage in a quick chorus.
Sexy change to the Northbound Northern, and then on to a Southwark double back. However, combined waits of six minutes (and I didn't 'just miss' any!) meant that I ended up losing lots of time. Back on to the Northbound Northern - where I had another Green Park. Yes, the Southbound Northern had just emptied out at Bank too! Eventually got on to the Westbound Central to Chancery Lane.
I just missed an Eastbound Central at Chancery Lane - and so I got on to the - yes, you guessed it - the Woodford via Hainault. I ended up at Liverpool Street and then - for the third time - ran to the platform to see... yes, another train pulling out in front of me. Yes, it was only one minute for the next one, but it was one minute which could mean the difference!
Ran to Aldgate East and saw - amazingly - Glen and Hugo running in the other direction. Had to wait two minutes for a train to Richmond... but we crawled along, stopping at every station excessively. Every time. Eventually we got to Earl's Court. Ran up the stairs, saw that the lifts were nowhere near, so ran down to the Westbound District and down the Starkey stairs, where, YET AGAIN, the train pulled out on me. Four minutes for the next one.
This was now ridiculous: it took 40 minutes from Earl's Court to Green Park, not least because we waited at Hyde Park Corner for a good four to five minutes to 'even out the gaps in the service', which, seeing as it was 5, 6, and 8 behind, was a bit ridiculous, not least as we were already four minutes behind the train in front of us.
We crawled along to King's Cross St. Pancras, and then - AGAIN - the Northern Line pulled out on me. Two minutes followed by what seemed like an eternity to get to Moorgate followed. Ran up to the subsurface, where I finally got a decent change! On to Euston Square, ran to Euston... but I got to Euston and there were tourists blocking the barriers... then the barrier broke with my ticket halfway in it. I got it out and switched to a different barrier. But the whole scenario was ridiculous. Down to Tottenham Court Road, where the train - yet again - pulled out on me. Went to Oxford Circus - but again I got 'double train' syndrome, and crawled at about 0.5 miles per hour to the Victoria Line, which I got to Vauxhall to record a seemingly ridiculous time of 03:50:03.