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It's the morning, so downstairs you go, armchair in tow, you pop into the News Agent for a gateau.

They don't sell cake, so you buy twenty five Mars Bars instead, which you take back down to Platform 4, and you snack on them in your armchair as a direct Woodford via Hainault passes through the station behind you.

But before you could snack on them, you see Tangy. While you chat to him, the armchair develops a stomach and eats 21 of the 25 Mars Bars. You then catch the train, still without realising your armchair has eaten most of your Mars Bars

You then eat the other 4 as the train whizzes by North Pole International Depot, and pulling into Paddington, you drag the armchair off the train and onto the Circle Line (at the Hammersmith and City station). You ride the Circle round to Mansion House.

And change to a District which deposits you in Upney.

Where you then travel to Becontree

And board a number 62 bus to Barking Station. You are riding one of the Optare Versas. They are lovely...

At Barking Station, you quickly pop into the WHSmith for a pint of milk, then board the C2C to Upminster.

You leave the station, make your way to Platform 7 and then realise it's just a shop. You head back inside and get back on the C2C to Southend Central.

A quick walk up the HIgh St takes you to Southend Victoria. (You avoid the temptation to hop in the WHSmith whilst you're passing it...)

And onto a Class 321 to Romford.

Walk outside to bus stop 'Z'...

And right outside is the extremely rare 347 bus, which you take to the war memorial in Ockendon.

NOTE: Two of the rarest buses in London stop at bus stop Z in Romford, the 347 and the 375.

The Orange One wrote:NOTE: Two of the rarest buses in London stop at bus stop Z in Romford, the 347 and the 375.

• I thought I'd tempt you into divulging an interesting bus route - it worked!

A five minute walk to the station...

And onto a c2c service to Limehouse.

where you make a small walk to The Grapes PH and enjoy a nice refreshing...