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Squeazyjet to Munich

Do the Munich S-Bahn Challenge.

Fail to break the record, and get a flight back to Stansted.

Take Easybus to Baker Street, where you pick up a Metro and see the following articles:

"Break-in at Aldwych Tube Station"
"Bus Painted Pink"
"Tube Challenge Record Broken"

Smirking, you sit down to read it.

Way down the Southbound Bakerloo Line train carriage you're in, you see a lad in his place, with that look on his face as he clocked you reading the Metro, he asks you where you've been, you make up what you've done and who you've seen, and you talk about anything. Suddenly a busker with a saxophone starts playing and continues until you get off at Elephant and Castle, where you leave the station, look up and see a huge elephant blocking the A3, named...

Albert.

Albert (who is a talking elephant) agrees to give you a ride on his back to the City, but London Bridge breaks under his weight (he is a huge elephant!), the two of you head down the Thames to Limehouse Basin (they open Tower Bridge for you!), and he deposits you unceremoniously outside Limehouse Station. He then proceeds to destroy every tower block on the Isle of Dogs. As the reporters descend, you make a quick escape onto the...

c2c to Tilbury Town

Hop on the 99 bus to Tilbury Ferry Terminal, to find you have just missed a ferry (they run every 30 minutes).

You meet Albert again, and are pleasantly surprised to see Bernard on his back - Albert had clearly evaded the reporters at the Isle of Dogs (no mean feat, I can tell you), and continued through the Thames Barrier to Tilbury.

"Hi, Bernard!" you yell out. People have taken out their cameras to take a photo of Albert, and he is covering his face with one leg (he is very shy). As he is now standing on three legs instead of four, he is unstable, and Bernard is forced to slide down his trunk onto the pier.
"Hi," he replies dejectedly. "I'm on my way to drown myself in the North Sea - Albert agreed to give me a ride. I was doing a Full Network Challenge the other day, but I didn't get the record - it was broken by these guys called Geoff Marshall and Anthony Smith."
"Cheer up!" you tell him. "Albert will help you get the Class B, won't you?" Albert says that yes, he would.
"Well, I was hoping for a Class A," Bernard replies.
"Well, Albert can help you with a Class A. You will, won't you Albert?"

Albert is not happy with this suggestion - he doesn't want to give scheduled public rides from Epping to Upminster at an extremely fast speed because it's tiring and he's a shy elephant. But the two of you overrule him, and Albert is actually secretly happy to have a real job, although he doesn't have a minimum wage as he's only 14. You wave them both goodbye as Albert begins to make his way back along the Thames towards 55 Broadway.

Where will you go next? (please note you will soon be able to go from Epping to Upminster by Albert/elephant)

The whole of the above debarcle took 27 minutes. There's another ferry about to leave...

... and you get it! Welcome to Gravesend. Walk up the hill to the shopping centre, and glance into the window of WHSmith.

You buy 74 ballpoint pens, then upon reaching Gravesend Station, you hop on a train to Stratford International.

And it's a quick hop onto the DLR, and down to Canning Town. You spot Albert in the distance, and...

... the Dome (sorry, O2 arena) on the other side of the Thames, where Albert is late for an awards ceremony. So in comes a 96 stock to whizz them under the river.

Albert, being that special kind of elephant that can block the A3, cause London Bridge to give way and yet ride a 96 Stock, gets off the train at North Greenwich for the O2. You join him, but were unable to get tickets for his ceremony, so while away the time by riding the Emirates Air Line fifty times.

That brings you back to the O2, so you head for North Greenwich Station, and buy a pint of milk in the WHSmith before heading down the escalators.

Where you get back on that 96 Stock to Green Park.